…JC Penney Opticals told me they’d give me a discount if I buy a batch, and they didn’t. Liars.

It occurred to me today, as IC and I were walking down Chicago Avenue, that what IC views as aesthetically pleasing is very far from mine. And apparently, mine is very far from everyone else’s. I find Grace Kelly amazingly beautiful; Eliza Dushku is NOT beautiful for me. I’ve always heard how beauty is in the eye of the beholder and whatnot, but some people the majority agree that (s)he is beautiful, and others… no. How does that work?

I started thinking about the people I found beautiful. C. Marino, from my high school, for instance, was a beautiful girl to me. And B. Beshk (there is a picture with half his face in it – split down the middle – and I immediately identified him as him. He literally looks like a Greco-Roman sculpture). Grace Kelly. Catherine Deneuve when she was young. Greta Garbo.

Americans seem to like a certain type – firm jawline, slightly slanting down eyes that are on a narrow side, short nose that slightly turns upwards, and rather small lips. Europe, on the other hand, is the EXACT opposite; egg-shaped face, slanting upward eyes, longish nose (well, not long, but definitely not short) that is straight and you can’t see the nostrils very well, full lips.

I happen to be the latter. So I clearly am disqualified as a beauty in the United States. So I’m good-looking in Europe, not so over here. What’s the difference?

Then I remembered the “average beauty” theory. According to the theory, a beauty is the “average” face of the population, and I don’t mean total-wise. If the most popular mouth is a thin mouth, then that’s the pretty mouth. If a long nose is the most popular nose, then that’s the nose you’d want.

Which leads to the conclusion that while I fit the majority of the European population’s facial features, I don’t here. I’m the stark opposite. Actually, most of the pure-blooded people tend to be the opposite. J is purely French. He has a longish nose, full lips, and large, slanting upward eyes. JB is fully English. He has longish nose, average mouth, and I never thought about his eyes but they aren’t slanted down. IM is purely Scottish. He has longish nose, reddish hair, VERY full lips and average eyes.

They are considered beautiful faces. J gets MONEY for being beautiful. Each part of their facial features is average.

So I am not average in the United States. I think being pure-blooded does that.