I was talking to J while reading through some papers when I stumbled across a certain title that caught my eye. I don't exactly recall its precise title; maybe it's just the timing that I was talking to J, or maybe it's the fact that I said goodbye to my teens, but it just stuck to my mind.

The question that arose in my mind was: when is the right time to lose it?

While I understand that it's not some asset nowadays and it's not necessarily something you "lose" per se, along with its connotations, I grew up in the belief - firmly supported by my unfaithful (male) friends and my faithful (female) friends, that virginity should be kept until, well, marriage. A lot of people I know have the same belief as me; well, not all, but a surprising number the people in my address book do.

On the other hand, now that I think about it, I can only think up of very few males around me who follow my belief. Apparently sometime during Genesis God instilled the belief of "No certain expiration date" in women and "Well, there isn't any expiration date but hey what the hell, it's in the fridge let's eat it" belief in men.

Well, maybe I'm being biased. But then I stumbled across another - and rather frightening - statistics in the New York Times. Apparently 1/4 of Japanese people in their 30's are virgins.

Considering that I've never heard of "virgin going on thirty" as being a valuable asset in relationships, I decided to count "virgin going on thirty" as a somewhat negative factor. So people won't be saying "Hey yeah, I'm a virgin" in this survey. Which meant that AT LEAST1/4 of the 30-somethings in Japan are virgins. Which means there may be more.

Not to mention that apparently some guys think virgins are just burdens. I can see that. Those who are virgins in their twenties are probably trying to save themselves for the right guy, regardless of whether he exists, and well, those types don't do well in easy flings.

Which leads to the question: What is the right time?

If you're thirty and unmarried, should you just go do it? Or should you still wait? I'm twenty now, so what about twenty-year olds? (Note: apparently it's easier to get a boyfriend if that factor isn't really important. Never knew...)

Asking J was a foolish thing. His immediate response was, "Why? Trying to lose it?"

"Is that an offer?"

"I'm always offering."

"Right. Go offer it to some other victim."

Is virginity a sign that you're reproductivly challenged? (And mind you, you ARE reproductively challenged if you don't have anyone to reproduce with; for now, anyway.) Or does that mean you're just waiting? Is it a trophy or is it a burden? Is it like a produce, something that you want fresh (I've never seen anyone who likes to drink regurgitated milk) but don't want it beyond expiration date?

Unfortunately the guys around me (read: JB, IM and J) seem to think of it as trophies. But clearly they've had their share of their plays, so I can't really know whether their opinions represent the general populace. Not to mention that it's rather easy for guys to ascertain (to a certain degree) their partners' freshness, with girls, not as easy. As IM said, "It's okay for guys, but maybe not as okay for girls". As much as this sounds sexist, there is cold harsh reality facing the young generation: how many XY's are there against XX's who can claim the same? In my case, not many.

Guys have it so much easier. Spinster sounds derogatory, but bachelor sounds normal leaning on "independent and handsome" (or so my friend said).