Today's lecture was just traumatizing. The morning went well enough, except for the fact that the syllabus had a HUGE mistake - instead of two lectures, as said on the syllabus, we had a full day today. That just dampened my mood, but it wasn't enough to traumatize me. Oh no.

Trouble started after lunch.

Right as I sat down I felt my phone vibrate. It was a call from someone that I knew would never call, so I ran out of the classroom. (He was perfectly fine, by the way). After going to the toilet and checking that my contacts were still in place and seeing some gross stuff in the cubicles, I walked back to the laboratory. And the first thing I heard was:

"Eat your own feces."

I nearly blurted out "WHAT THE FUCK" really loud. Thankfully, I kept my mouth shut, and literally scuttled back to my seat.

Trouble was just brewing. I could smell its acrid, pungent odor from where I sat. It had green fume too.

Well, see, I was recording the lecture for those who left the lecture after lunch for whatever reason. Since my mp3 player had a counter of how long the recording was up to that point, I casually glanced at the screen as he stopped talking about eating your own feces (actually it was about animals who ate their own feces, but still) and moved onto the next topic.

The counter read: 32:14.

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen. He had talked about the yucky, gross shit (literally) for thirty minutes.

Trouble didn't end there. After excessively BORING lectures about the endocrine, he did the usual thing.

What is the usual thing? Let me explain.

Recently, we had noticed a pattern in this lecturer's style of lecture. Barring the fact that he repeats himself so many times, lapses into periods of silence, and generally needs to take a speech class, he always rounds off his lecture for the day (which ends at FIVE... we begin at TEN in the morning) by dedicating the last thirty minutes to some ridiculous topic that is definitely related to sex.

Well, I'm not Britney Spears, but oops, he did it again.

Today's porn-in-question was viagra and erectile penises. I don't even know how we got there. We just did. When I actually woke up from daydreaming about bashing his head with my molecular cellular biology book then slowly eviscerating him with my teaspoon, he was already talking about how viagra enhanced penile erection. And pheromones. And some sex study conducted in a nunnery.

Now these are kind of crap that I'd call "TOO MUCH INFORMATION".

Honestly, his lectures are such a torture that they almost equal the pain caused by listening to Britney Spears all day long.

And that's saying a lot.