Apparently there’s a new fad or something that involves coming up with the most retarded, long answering machine possible. Here is the one from JB:

Hi, this is JB. Unfortunately I was recently blasted with antimatter ray beams and if I were to touch the phone the energy released from the contact would make the Bikini Island debacle look like an incident. So leave a message when my body matter is no longer anti.

Here’s the one by IM:

Hi, you’ve reached IM’s phone. Unfortunately I can’t find my phone, I think it eloped with my sock and my USB cable. So leave a message and I’ll try to bring them back. Don’t worry, I’ll have a word with them.

?!?!?!

Why can’t people just stick with “Hello, you’ve reached, --- ----. Please leave your message after the tone, and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. *BEEP*”?