My best friend Claire is a foodie. She basically eats anything set before her (some dietary restrictions are there, but they are for health issues, not preference). She is a delight to go out with, and she is a delight to cook for.

My boyfriend James is a picky eater. His diet mainly consists of pizza, hamburgers, and steaks. It almost feels as if vegetables had personally hurt him in childhood and now he is staunchly putting up a wall against it. He does try the stuff I make, but his preference is clearly skewed to fat and proteins.

I am a foodie.

This is going to get tricky.

Foodie vs picky eater war isn't something that is particular to me, apparently. A quick google search has yielded a lot of chronicling of these wars, with barrages and sallies from both sides. Since I'm staunchly in the foodie camp, my views are a bit lopsided. As someone who loves to cook, this lopsidedness gets even worse.

The most common argument for the picky eaters is that one should have the freedom to choose whatever they eat. I see two problems with this argument, thusly:

1. Let's say you created this elaborate dish... and then the person you cooked for decided to not eat it. Sure, it might be the eater's prerogative, but there is NO WAY the cook will feel good about it.

The problem with this is that the cook will either have to tailor the menu for the picky eater, thus severely restricting what the foodie might want to eat, or cook extra dishes, or eat heartily while the picky eater can't. Which, if you care about the picky eater, just makes you feel really guilty.

2. You go to a restaurant with the picky eater, and the picky eater can't eat anything.

The problem with this is that you get to enjoy food... and the picky eater is reduced to bread, butter, and water, which sounds like a rich version of prison food in revolutionary France. This makes you feel guilty, which can make you lose appetite. The argument I see for this is "well, go to restaurants by yourself", but then that's like half the date opportunities gone right there.

Meals are occasions to be shared, so what I want to say is: I know it's hard to try new stuff, but please make an effort (which, currently, James is doing well, so I'm hopeful) to at least try them. We aren't just eating to fill up; we're eating to make memories, share time together, and enjoy life. And when we end up eating and you aren't, we do feel guilty, and that greatly dampens our joy. Breaking bread together has always been a social event, a sharing moment, and when you can't do that with someone you love, whether it be friend, family, or lover, then it greatly reduces the opportunities to create memories.

And sex doesn't cut it. You don't have sex everyday (or at least, most people don't). You do, however, have to eat everyday. I understand that there are some dishes one will inevitably not prefer (for example, I generally do not like fried foods, my father doesn't particularly like chicken, and I don't really like soy sauce. Despite my nationality, yes), but there's a difference between not eating it at all, and eating a little.

All we ask for is the latter... and to keep an open mind.