People are desperate. Hang on in quite desperation, then.

Okay, maybe not. But people are DESPERATE.

I’ve always been interested in how people decide to mate. With primates, it’s fairly easy; the biggest, baddest, toughest gorilla gets the biggest, strongest, most fertile gorilla. The end. No “that gorilla is skinnier” or “that gorilla is funnier”. It’s straightforward and simple.

Evidently mankind had to take it a step further and make it all confusing, because I have signed up for okcupid under the pretence that I am looking for a boyfriend, and… –gasp!- men are desperate. I’m supposing to get laid. Is sex that important over here?! I’m not saying Europeans or Asians are any better (after seeing JB’s perverse preferences in poetry, I’m inclined to say that he has pretty weird fetishes going on there), but crikey, as soon as one says “I’m not going to sleep with anyone until marriage”, goodbye.

Anyway, so here is what I’ve found out:

  1. American men of white descent (dunno about European or Australian or New Zealander) are REALLY picky. Message them, no response. Nada. Sorry, boys, you are not that good looking. As far as I’ve seen, I have not seen anyone on par with J… and he’s certainly not that cocky.
  2. European men dig my looks. American men don’t at all. Hmm. Wonder why.
  3. What is conventionally artistically beautiful is NOT attractive over here (dunno about Europe). A rejected snapshot of my modelling portfolio is gaining more attention than what I deemed a better photograph.
  4. JB is now officially a really cute, sophisticated, and utterly handsome nerd. Which is a rare species.
  5. IM is one HELL of a hot dude.
  6. J is a freaking Adonis. End of discussion.
  7. Some people try too hard to be nice.
  8. I evidently only get attracted to people who are mostly pure-blooded (90+% one nationality).
  9. African Americans like Asian women. Unfortunately that is not reciprocated.
  10. Some people cannot spell to save their lives.

So, folks, here is the lesson to be learned today: hanging on in quite desperation is not just the English way, it is THE way. But hey, what the hell, most people are looking for sex anyway.

I wonder if they’re aware that they’re really barking up the wrong tree. As the trio of men can testify quite extensively. I have half a mind to say yes to JB, but he’s currently seducing a drow priestess into joining his cause (JB, weren’t you a sun elf paladin? Are you supposed to be seducing people…?), so maybe I’m doomed.

Also, Benjamin Bunny is FREAKING MARRIED. There goes the first love of my life.

Paquita - Variation V Shostakovich - Tea for Two